We've all been lost in this life

You know, I miss how you used to text just to say 'hi'.
I miss how you used to laugh when I said something stupid.
I miss how you'd blush when someone said what we both knew was true, but we're too embarassed to believe.
I miss how you'd actually bother to talk to me.
Most of all, I miss you.

You're the one that save me, did you know that?
I was on the verge of ending it.
All of it.
But the fact that someone actually liked me made me want to live just that bit longer.

I know you'll never read this.
I know that you'll never care again.
But despite what I know, I still hope that it is all not true.

I feel so helpless.
I'm struggling with the work.
I struggling with life.

I all honesty, I hate myself.
I hate who I used to be.
I hate who I am now.
And I hate what I know I will become.

It's like I'm trapped.
I didn't ask to be here.
I wish I had ended it.
At least then I wouldn't have had to endure this neverending ache inside.

Some people say that I'm just being trivial.
And they're right.
I am trivial.
I doesn't matter whether I live or die.
The few that do care, well, they'd soon get over it.
After all I'm nothing special.

I know we never were.
Yet, I can't help but think that this could have all ended differently.