The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had

I wish I couldn't feel.
Then nothing would be a problem.
I wouldn't worry about whether or not I've hurt someone.
I wouldn't lie awake at night, just filled with regret.
I would be able to live my life without any distractions.

My friends seem to be moving on without me.
I don't like it.
Not in the slightest.
I have to leave them to do what they want though.
After all I can't change what they do just because I want to talk to them.
I don't need to talk to anyone after.
I refuse to tell people anything.
It's not like they'd care anyway.
So I've decided.
Fuck it.