So I don't want to have an actual relationship. Not now, not ever. I don't advertise the fact because people tend to think you are weird if you don't want a boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever at my age. The few people that do know, they don't take me seriously. So here it is;
I don't want a relationship. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone. It's my choice so stop being so fucking patronising about it. It's not that I "just haven't found the right person". It's not that I've "given up so easily". The fact of the matter is that I would like to be alone.
Maybe you're thinkg that I'm asexual. Or maybe you too think that I'm mad, completely and utterly insane. Who knows, and who cares. I'm the only one that should, and I don't. Labels are restrictions put in place so society can think that they understand someone. I just wish people wouldn't act like they pity me for it.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Monday, July 18, 2011
I am somewhat determined to keep up with my work this semester.
I have told myself this again and again though, but it never sinks in. I'm not sure what it is, I just can't seem to concentrate on anything for long enough to do well.
One of the papers I'm doing this semester has the highest fail rate for any mechanical engineering paper offered at my university.
Needless to say, this worries me slightly.
I worry about the papers I take quite a lot, whether I am going to fail or not, but I still can't bring myself to do anything about it.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
So...I haven't come on here for a while.
I'm playing football again which is fun.
University is somewhat horrible, I think I chose the wrong specialisation which is slightly worrying.
Recently I've gotten really into Sherlock Holmes.
Mostly because of the new BBC series but the canon is awesome too.
Hm. I was thinking about the Kinsey scale the other day.
Well, only because my friends brought it up.
I don't understand why, but some of them felt the need to clarify that they were definitely Kinsey zero.
Now, I don't know what I am.
This is what I was thinking about.
I reckon I am a two/three or an X.
I'm not sure though.
Attaching a number to my sexuality implies that I like people and am interested in relationships and other such tedious things.
This is the problem, I think that I like guys about the same amount as girls. Maybe more, hence the two/three rather than a set number.
The only thing is that the amount I like people is potentially zero.
Studies on sexuality and defining it must be read.
-Sam
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Non livejournal
http://sam-storyteller.dreamwidth.org/154868.html?#cutid3Tennis AU
Disguises
Release
A Taste of Murder
Evermore
Gay club fic
Prison AU
There's A First Time For Everything
Planet Sherlock
Lab Book
The Whore of Babylon Was A Perfectly Nice Girl
A Child of a Different Sort
Once More, With Feeling
Superhero AU
Prompt Jealous!John
S deletes J
Past and Present
ART
Saturday, January 8, 2011
I haven't posted on here for a long time.
To be honest, I had completely forgotten about it.
What with exams, then Christmas, then New Year.
I got my exams results a while back.
A+, A+, A, A-, which is considerably better than the first semester (A+, A-, B+, B).
Then again I actually bothered to study for the second semester.
So that got me into my specialisation which is good.
Christmas was the same as usual.
Awkward conversations about what Christmas is really about with my mother.
She thinks that only Christians should celebrate it.
I believe that there isn't a god. At least, I think I do.
But hey, life goes on.
I spent New Years on a beach up north and it was pretty good.
But I wasn't properly awake for it.
But five days away with my friends was good.
Right now I'm working on Pokemon papercraft, unicycling and juggling.
I need to make a Rube-Goldberg machine this holiday though.
It will be awesome.
So that is my life since I last posted.
That made it sound as if someone actually reads this.
Hah.
-Sam
To be honest, I had completely forgotten about it.
What with exams, then Christmas, then New Year.
I got my exams results a while back.
A+, A+, A, A-, which is considerably better than the first semester (A+, A-, B+, B).
Then again I actually bothered to study for the second semester.
So that got me into my specialisation which is good.
Christmas was the same as usual.
Awkward conversations about what Christmas is really about with my mother.
She thinks that only Christians should celebrate it.
I believe that there isn't a god. At least, I think I do.
But hey, life goes on.
I spent New Years on a beach up north and it was pretty good.
But I wasn't properly awake for it.
But five days away with my friends was good.
Right now I'm working on Pokemon papercraft, unicycling and juggling.
I need to make a Rube-Goldberg machine this holiday though.
It will be awesome.
So that is my life since I last posted.
That made it sound as if someone actually reads this.
Hah.
-Sam
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Annonymity (sp?)
Set a new juggling best yesterday. Fifty-two.
I'm still using a size one ball so I reckon that's pretty good.
Now I was thinking, I don't write this blog under my real name.
Sam was my nickname a long time ago, but noone that I know now uses it.
I do strive to remain annonymous on the internet.
I don't want people who know me in real life to know what I'm thinking, nor do I want them to know what I do.
So I wonder, how many people try to be someone else online?
And by someone else I mean same personality, same everything, just a different name and more open about sharing things about yourself.
Is it sad that I have noone to talk to?
I suppose so. But I don't really mind.
There used to be someone I talked to a lot.
Used to text me all the time, talk to me a school.
We were good friends.
What changed?
Senior year there was these girls.
Same situation both times.
He liked her, she liked him, but they never went out or anything.
And I was convienently forgotten about.
We went to uni, and we're doing the same degree.
But he got a girlfirend and yep, you guessed it, no more hanging out with him.
I do miss it sometimes.
But I'll get used to it. I'll live. People change.
There was a study.
Apparently, people only really have five close friends at a time.
And when they get into a relationship, one friend is dropped.
I guess this time it was me.
Oh well. Live goes on. Hopefully..
-Sam
I'm still using a size one ball so I reckon that's pretty good.
Now I was thinking, I don't write this blog under my real name.
Sam was my nickname a long time ago, but noone that I know now uses it.
I do strive to remain annonymous on the internet.
I don't want people who know me in real life to know what I'm thinking, nor do I want them to know what I do.
So I wonder, how many people try to be someone else online?
And by someone else I mean same personality, same everything, just a different name and more open about sharing things about yourself.
Is it sad that I have noone to talk to?
I suppose so. But I don't really mind.
There used to be someone I talked to a lot.
Used to text me all the time, talk to me a school.
We were good friends.
What changed?
Senior year there was these girls.
Same situation both times.
He liked her, she liked him, but they never went out or anything.
And I was convienently forgotten about.
We went to uni, and we're doing the same degree.
But he got a girlfirend and yep, you guessed it, no more hanging out with him.
I do miss it sometimes.
But I'll get used to it. I'll live. People change.
There was a study.
Apparently, people only really have five close friends at a time.
And when they get into a relationship, one friend is dropped.
I guess this time it was me.
Oh well. Live goes on. Hopefully..
-Sam
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Football and fitness
So taking a year off football was a bad idea.
Before this year I would train or play at least four times a week, but more often it was six.
And then in the off season/summer holidays I would play squash.
So I was fairly fit.
Now, after a year off doing fuck all exercise I have gotten really unfit.
Great.
So I decided to do the Couch to 5K program thing.
I started at week three though, because I'm not that unfit.
Well, I'm really unfit for a football player but yea...
I mean week one was one minute walking alternated with a minute and a half of walking.
So yea, I skipped a couple of weeks.
Now I'm on week five. And I'm doing okay.
It's not killing me.
Yet.
So hopefully this time next month I'll be able to run at least five kilometres without stopping.
I do know my route.
And hopefully after that I can do my 7.5K route.
And then by Christmas, the 10K route that i have in mind.
It feels good to have a goal.
Yes, yes it does.
I have exams in five-ish weeks.
Maybe I should make them a goal too.
Hmm...or not. I reckon I'll pass easy.
Oh yea! I forgot to write about the football part.
I need to find a wall that I can practise passing against to improve my ball control.
Especially with my right foot.
I used to be really good a dribbling and shooting so I need to work on those again.
And I've started practising juggling.
My record is forty-six.
Which doesn't sound like much, but I'm using a size one ball.
So it is quite a lot really.
I needs to get me a size five ball though so I can practise properly.
Hasta luego,
Sam
Before this year I would train or play at least four times a week, but more often it was six.
And then in the off season/summer holidays I would play squash.
So I was fairly fit.
Now, after a year off doing fuck all exercise I have gotten really unfit.
Great.
So I decided to do the Couch to 5K program thing.
I started at week three though, because I'm not that unfit.
Well, I'm really unfit for a football player but yea...
I mean week one was one minute walking alternated with a minute and a half of walking.
So yea, I skipped a couple of weeks.
Now I'm on week five. And I'm doing okay.
It's not killing me.
Yet.
So hopefully this time next month I'll be able to run at least five kilometres without stopping.
I do know my route.
And hopefully after that I can do my 7.5K route.
And then by Christmas, the 10K route that i have in mind.
It feels good to have a goal.
Yes, yes it does.
I have exams in five-ish weeks.
Maybe I should make them a goal too.
Hmm...or not. I reckon I'll pass easy.
Oh yea! I forgot to write about the football part.
I need to find a wall that I can practise passing against to improve my ball control.
Especially with my right foot.
I used to be really good a dribbling and shooting so I need to work on those again.
And I've started practising juggling.
My record is forty-six.
Which doesn't sound like much, but I'm using a size one ball.
So it is quite a lot really.
I needs to get me a size five ball though so I can practise properly.
Hasta luego,
Sam
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